50 First Dates….the theme of my week!

I have been sharing my experiences with online dating starting with Are Book Boyfriends Dangerous to your Dating Life?, which brings me to this post. A great movie came out in 2004 starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler called 50 First Dates. If you have not watched it, I highly recommend it. The movie is about Henry Roth (Adam Sandler) is a man afraid of commitment up until he meets the beautiful Lucy (Drew Barrymore). They hit it off and Henry think he’s finally found the girl of his dreams, until he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him the next day. So every day he has to win her over and get a first date, which brings me to my week of my own 50 First Dates.

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For a girl that initially loathes first dates, I started looking at online dating with a different perspective and started using the tips and techniques I have learned in the books, Men Don’t Love Women Like You by G.L. Lambert and Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov (My book review will be coming soon!), and I am actually starting to enjoy this process.

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Since I already know that I am the bomb diggity and one hell of a catch, I don’t need to prove myself to any man but he needs to prove himself Wanda Worthy, which is no easy task!  The process starts like this: we start with the initial chat stage on the site, moving then to exchange of numbers, phone conversation and the planning of a “meet and greet”.

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A “meet and greet” is where we just initially meet, check for chemistry and then I decide if he is “Wanda Worthy” for an official first date. Meet and greets always happen in public places, I always drive myself and are limited to ninety minutes. As a single working mom with older kids that can stay home alone, this allows me to utilize my babysitter for longer subsequent dates. Win, Win!!!!

It is amazing what you can tell by a man just by what he choses for the first initial meet and greet. I have experienced the following acceptable meets:  the walk the river, the adult beverage bar, and the coffeehouse meet. That brings us to the “You just got your a$$ deleted” meets: the come by my house, the I will come over to your house, and the where can we have sex meet. Deleted, end of story.

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On the walk the river meet, we had Allen the Aviator. He was age appropriate, no kids, and retired from the military. Great conversation but was very Type A so I passed on him.

On the coffeehouse meet, we had Fabio the Floor Guy. He was age appropriate, no kids, Romanian with a sexy European accent, very attractive but he eventually wanted kids so I passed on him. Side note: Had I been in the market for a little bedroom fun, he would have been my choice!! 

Lastly,  the adult beverage bar meet with Coach Carter. He was age appropriate, has kids, employed, very attractive, and I actually liked this guy. We went out on three different times. Dates with him were different, they were natural, playful and FUN. I could be my silly self just so I could hear his adorable laugh and he was happy to oblige. But what did I do? I’ll tell you what I did! I got scared of being rejected and I pushed him away. Yes, I did. I let my fear of rejection control me.

WHY!?!? WHY?!? WHY!?!

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With that major slip up, I must go on and the search continues with tonight’s next meet and greet.

I can already hear RuPaul in my head…..

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Until Next Time!!!!!

XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXO

Is Romance only in Books? Where have all the good men gone?

In my last post, Are Book Boyfriends Dangerous to your Dating Life, I shared my quest for finding my “true to life book boyfriend” through online dating. Now, I admit my standards are pretty high since I’ve been living vicariously though romance novels the last few years.  Who hasn’t gotten caught up in a great story or even a movie? Did not everyone enjoy when Edward came back at the end of Pretty Woman and rescued Vivian and she rescued him right back? Sniff, sniff…. Am I the only one that gave a fleeting thought to running out to California and becoming a hooker to find my Edward?

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Yes, I understand that romance books are fiction and romantic movies are no where close to reality but didn’t authors have to experience at least some truth in their books? From my recent online dating experience, I’m thinking I have been duped and romance is only found in books.

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Since my previous posts, I have gone out on dates with three different gentlemen, and by gentlemen I am using the term loosely.  Let’s call guy one, Paul the prison guard.

Paul the prison guard initiated contact with me with the basic “you are beautiful classic pick up line. No points for creativity but I’m new on the dating scene and he wasn’t bad looking. So, why not? After conversing with Paul, I learned he works as a prison guard at a correctional facility (employed, bonus). In his 30’s, never been married and no children (yellow flag for me), owns his own home and vehicle (so far so good). Paul is doing a great job of making me safe with meeting him in a public place so we set up a date.

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After getting over those first date jitters, we have nice casual conversation discussing our careers. I work as criminal defense paralegal and he’s a prison guard, so our conversation was quite humorous.  Attraction, chemistry, great conversation, excellent food, the ambiance, the wine, …and then the proposal. Wait, What? Isn’t this date one? Proposal? Slam on the brakesSlow down bud! 

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Okay……. maybe, I jumped to conclusions, he did say proposal, but it wasn’t that “type” of proposal.  His proposal was even more mind boggling. Yes, he was on a dating site but what he was looking for a friend. Side note: I reread his profile and he did state he was looking for long term relationship. Let me clarify a little more, a friend WITH BENEFITS, and he wasn’t referring to a date watching the romantic comedy, Friend with Benefits, which probably would have been a better way to approach this, but I digress. Just in case, you don’t know what a friend with benefits is, let me explain. A friend with benefits is a sexual relationship with someone you don’t have any emotional ties or commitment with. Essentially, getting the milk without even feeding or caring about the cow.

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How could a girl possibly say no to that wonderful, heartfelt romantic proposal? Just in case you are wondering, I did say no to that romantic dessert proposal. On a positive note, I do give the guy kudos for his honesty and that’s one requirement I did list that I wanted in a man. He certainly meet that!

Not to be deterred, I set back on my quest and was contacted by guy two, who I’ll call, Frank the fireman. You guessed it, Frank is a employed as a fireman in the city where I work (convenient). He’s attractive, good career, divorced, has children, own home, etc. Definite potential with this fella!

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A few days pass of texting and chatting on the phone, mostly, while he is at work (red flag, self) . I am anxiously waiting for his next day off from work as I’m ready to meet this hottie. His first day off from work comes and goes with no mention of a date or even a phone call. Second day off work comes and goes without a phone call but a few intermittent text. Now, I have to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, as I don’t expect him to drop everything on his first days off after we started talking, he has his kiddos on his days off, errands to run, etc. , totally understandable. However, the pattern continues once he returns to work, texting and chatting on the phone with still no mention of a date. So, finally, I give some subtle hints as we are less than a mile from each other and it would be nice to say hello in person. “Am I being unreasonable here?” His next days off are almost here so I take the initiative of mentioning a possible meeting during his days off. His reply……. dead silence.

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The dead silence continues until, you guessed it, he returns to work. Yes, I get it, he clearly works too hard and I need to be understanding of his radio silence during his days off, clearly, he’s busy sleeping! But then, I remember a book that I read, He’s Not that Interested, He’s Just Passing Time, and it finally occurs to me, maybe, HE’S MARRIED!!!

No one saw that coming, I know, I know.

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Was he married?  If he was, he clearly wasn’t going to tell me the truth and that was enough for me to get out of the sandbox. I want a single man, not just a man that thinks he’s single because that’s what he marks on his federal income tax, S-I-N-G-L-E. PERIOD. I ceased all communication with him and haven’t heard from him since. Ironically, a few days ago, I ran into my best friend from high school whose husband is a firefighter who just happens to work with Mr. Married Fireman Fred! Yep, married!

Let chalk this week up to a learning opportunity as they say you have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince, right? Or is this online dating just a romantic comedy in the making? Has anyone personally found love online? Please leave me a comment if you have!

Until next time!

XXXXOOOOOOO

 

Blog Tour of New Jerusalem News by John Enright

New Jerusalem News by John Enright

Book Description for New Jerusalem News:

Dominick is always just passing through. He is a professional houseguest who follows the sun and the leisure class from resort to resort. But this winter he lingers on a quaint New England island and in spite of his best intentions becomes involved in the travails of his eccentric geriatric hosts. An environmental protest against a proposed liquid natural gas terminal turns ugly, and by accident and happenstance Dominick becomes a mistaken suspect in terroristic bombings. But the book, of course, is really about its characters. None of them are young—white-bearded men and blue-coiffed women busy with aging, dementia, and ungrateful children. Dominick strives to float above it all in a life of itinerant escape. A New England comedy of sorts, New Jerusalem News, on another level, is an extended meditation on history, identity, and what it means to drift.

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Author’s Bio:

John Enright

Originally from Buffalo, New York, John Enright holds a bachelor’s degree in literature from the City College of New York and a master’s degree in folklore from the University of California, Berkeley. After working in magazine journalism and book publishing, he left the U.S. to teach at the American Samoa Community College. He remained in the South Pacific for 26 years, directing environmental, cultural, and historical preservation programs and writing extensively about the islands. His acclaimed detective series, Jungle Beat (Thomas & Mercer), featuring Det. Sgt. Apelu Soifua, is set in Samoa. His collection of poems about Samoa, 14 Degrees South, won the University of the South Pacific Press’s inaugural Literature Prize for Poetry in 2011. He now lives in Jamestown, Rhode Island, with his wife, ceramicist Connie Payne.

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