I have been sharing with you about my online dating experiences and I wanted to share with you an experience that I had that was actually quite frightening. In the event that someone else experiences this, they will know what I did in my situation.
It was a weekday and I decided that I was going to go out to the bar by myself and have a drink. I had previously been talking online with a guy I will call Hyde that I meet through a dating app. We had normal daily chit chat here and there about life and we had become FaceBook friends. Hyde was divorced, employed, had two kids and a clean criminal record.
On this particular night, he sent me a Facebook message like normal and I told him I was going to go have a drink. I told him he was happy to join me but I wasn’t going to be out late as I had to work the next day. So we made plans to meet at a bar that I knew the bartender and I felt comfortable. Upon arriving to my destination, I had received a message from him asking me to come to a different bar approximately 15 miles away (in another State that my State borders) that was a block from his house because he was concerned about police.
I told him that I wasn’t comfortable going to another bar that I wasn’t familiar with and where I wouldn’t know any one but he was free to join me at the bar I was already at or he could enjoy the rest of his night. When I asked him about his comment about the police, his friend had just gotten a DUI so he was just concerned. Okay, fair enough……..
We are both sitting at the bar, having a drink, socializing, and he orders a vodka tonic, and another, and another, and another and then is wanting to do shots with me. I politely decline, knowing that I have to drive home and I have to work the next day and I’m still on my first and only drink of the night. This is when the night starts to deteriorate rapidly….
After Mr. Hyde’s six vodka tonics and his Fireball shots, he becomes “Mr. Just Relax and Have Fun with Me”. When that tactic doesn’t work, he becomes “Mr. Very Hands On”. I, politely but firmly, tell him not to touch me again and I get up and move two seats away from him. Now Mr. Hyde becomes “Mr. Not Taking No For An Answer” and proceeds to bear hug so hard that I couldn’t breathe. This guy is showing me he doesn’t respect by boundaries, he’s strong, he’s intoxicated and I’m scared. He finally excuses himself to go to the bathroom and I’m thinking now is the time to run but I know my car is parked in the back parking lot where it’s dark. So, I signal for the female bartender and tell her to not serve him anymore as he is being a major jerk. Trying to be the badass that I am, I don’t tell her that I’m afraid to leave or ask her to help me. Please don’t do this, please tell someone what is going on, especially if you are scared to leave. Don’t be ashamed or afraid! He turns out of the bathroom and tries to order another drink and this time the bartender cuts him off, tells him he pay his tab and it’s time for him to go. Thankfully, he doesn’t argue with her and before he walks out the door he whispers down in my ear that he will be waiting for me outside in his truck.
At this point, I am thankful that he has finally left and he messages me to again come out to this truck. I totally ignore his message and I sit inside the bar for several more minutes trying to decide how I’m going to leave. It is now 11:30 pm and I really need to get home but I know my car is parked in the back lot. Finally, after ten minutes, I swallow my pride and tell the bartender that I am afraid to leave as I think the guy may be waiting outside for me. At this point, there are only two other male patrons in the bar. The bartender goes out and says it looks like the coast is clear and she and the two other male patrons walk me to to my car. As I get into my car, a truck pulls around from behind the bar and the male patrons stop the truck and I leave the bar checking all the way home that I am not being followed.
I admit that this experience has opened my eyes more to the dangers of online dating. In the future, I will be parking as close to the entrance as possible and making sure the parking area is well lit. I also won’t wait so long to tell the bartender that I was uncomfortable and scared.
Right now, I am very thankful that I didn’t meet him at the bar he suggested!!!
Until Next Time!!!!!!