In my last post, Are Book Boyfriends Dangerous to your Dating Life, I shared my quest for finding my “true to life book boyfriend” through online dating. Now, I admit my standards are pretty high since I’ve been living vicariously though romance novels the last few years. Who hasn’t gotten caught up in a great story or even a movie? Did not everyone enjoy when Edward came back at the end of Pretty Woman and rescued Vivian and she rescued him right back? Sniff, sniff…. Am I the only one that gave a fleeting thought to running out to California and becoming a hooker to find my Edward?
Yes, I understand that romance books are fiction and romantic movies are no where close to reality but didn’t authors have to experience at least some truth in their books? From my recent online dating experience, I’m thinking I have been duped and romance is only found in books.
Since my previous posts, I have gone out on dates with three different gentlemen, and by gentlemen I am using the term loosely. Let’s call guy one, Paul the prison guard.
Paul the prison guard initiated contact with me with the basic “you are beautiful“ classic pick up line. No points for creativity but I’m new on the dating scene and he wasn’t bad looking. So, why not? After conversing with Paul, I learned he works as a prison guard at a correctional facility (employed, bonus). In his 30’s, never been married and no children (yellow flag for me), owns his own home and vehicle (so far so good). Paul is doing a great job of making me safe with meeting him in a public place so we set up a date.
After getting over those first date jitters, we have nice casual conversation discussing our careers. I work as criminal defense paralegal and he’s a prison guard, so our conversation was quite humorous. Attraction, chemistry, great conversation, excellent food, the ambiance, the wine, …and then the proposal. Wait, What? Isn’t this date one? Proposal? Slam on the brakes! Slow down bud!
Okay……. maybe, I jumped to conclusions, he did say proposal, but it wasn’t that “type” of proposal. His proposal was even more mind boggling. Yes, he was on a dating site but what he was looking for a friend. Side note: I reread his profile and he did state he was looking for long term relationship. Let me clarify a little more, a friend WITH BENEFITS, and he wasn’t referring to a date watching the romantic comedy, Friend with Benefits, which probably would have been a better way to approach this, but I digress. Just in case, you don’t know what a friend with benefits is, let me explain. A friend with benefits is a sexual relationship with someone you don’t have any emotional ties or commitment with. Essentially, getting the milk without even feeding or caring about the cow.
How could a girl possibly say no to that wonderful, heartfelt romantic proposal? Just in case you are wondering, I did say no to that romantic dessert proposal. On a positive note, I do give the guy kudos for his honesty and that’s one requirement I did list that I wanted in a man. He certainly meet that!
Not to be deterred, I set back on my quest and was contacted by guy two, who I’ll call, Frank the fireman. You guessed it, Frank is a employed as a fireman in the city where I work (convenient). He’s attractive, good career, divorced, has children, own home, etc. Definite potential with this fella!
A few days pass of texting and chatting on the phone, mostly, while he is at work (red flag, self) . I am anxiously waiting for his next day off from work as I’m ready to meet this hottie. His first day off from work comes and goes with no mention of a date or even a phone call. Second day off work comes and goes without a phone call but a few intermittent text. Now, I have to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, as I don’t expect him to drop everything on his first days off after we started talking, he has his kiddos on his days off, errands to run, etc. , totally understandable. However, the pattern continues once he returns to work, texting and chatting on the phone with still no mention of a date. So, finally, I give some subtle hints as we are less than a mile from each other and it would be nice to say hello in person. “Am I being unreasonable here?” His next days off are almost here so I take the initiative of mentioning a possible meeting during his days off. His reply……. dead silence.
The dead silence continues until, you guessed it, he returns to work. Yes, I get it, he clearly works too hard and I need to be understanding of his radio silence during his days off, clearly, he’s busy sleeping! But then, I remember a book that I read, He’s Not that Interested, He’s Just Passing Time, and it finally occurs to me, maybe, HE’S MARRIED!!!
No one saw that coming, I know, I know.
Was he married? If he was, he clearly wasn’t going to tell me the truth and that was enough for me to get out of the sandbox. I want a single man, not just a man that thinks he’s single because that’s what he marks on his federal income tax, S-I-N-G-L-E. PERIOD. I ceased all communication with him and haven’t heard from him since. Ironically, a few days ago, I ran into my best friend from high school whose husband is a firefighter who just happens to work with Mr. Married Fireman Fred! Yep, married!
Let chalk this week up to a learning opportunity as they say you have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince, right? Or is this online dating just a romantic comedy in the making? Has anyone personally found love online? Please leave me a comment if you have!
Until next time!